chris/emacs-rpgdm
1
0
Fork 0
Code Issues Pull requests Projects Releases Packages Wiki Activity Actions

More random tables I've collected

Browse source 
Now, my players can run into a warehouse, or a library, and I won't be
stuck thinking about titles.
This commit is contained in:
Howard Abrams 2021-02-11 21:57:50 -08:00
parent 7dab533415
commit 106ed2e6dd
9 changed files with 848 additions and 0 deletions
Download patch file Download diff file Expand all files Collapse all files

115
tables/city-occupations.org Normal file
View file

@ -0,0 +1,115 @@
#+TITLE: NPC Occupations
#+AUTHOR: Howard X. Abrams
#+EMAIL: howard.abrams@workday.com
#+DATE: 2021-02-02 February
#+TAGS: rpg
# Let's make some assumptions about occupational frequency in a Fantasy City.
# - Often: Maid, dock worker, beggar and other general jobs
# Seldom: More specific jobs, like baker
# Scarce: Limited, specific jobs, like mayor
# Rare: Adventures and travelers
| Tinkerer | seldom |
| Owlbear Breeder | scarce |
| Shaman | scarce |
| Bottle Maker | seldom |
| Stable hand | often |
| Innkeeper | seldom |
| Blacksmith | seldom |
| Washerwoman | often |
| Town cryer | seldom |
| Tailor | seldom |
| Portrait painter | seldom |
| Cobbler | seldom |
| Lamplighter | seldom |
| Trapper | seldom |
| Fletcher | seldom |
| Tanner | seldom |
| Herbalist | seldom |
| Farmer | seldom |
| Carpenter | often |
| Stonemason | often |
| Miner | seldom |
| Fortune teller | scarce |
| Baker | seldom |
| Town guard | seldom |
| Town watch | often |
| Rat catcher | seldom |
| Doctor | scarce |
| Messenger | scarce |
| Lawyer | scarce |
| Banker | scarce |
| Animal tamer | scarce |
| Guide | seldom |
| Cartographer | seldom |
| Sheriff | scarce |
| Dairy maid | seldom |
| Bookkeeper | seldom |
| Academic | seldom |
| Accountant | seldom |
| Actor | scarce |
| Apprentice | often |
| Artisan | seldom |
| Assassin | rarely |
| Bandit | seldom |
| Bard | scarce |
| Beggar | often |
| Bounty hunter | seldom |
| Brewer | seldom |
| Con artist | scarce |
| Cook | often |
| Druid | rarely |
| Fisher | seldom |
| Gambler | seldom |
| Gravedigger | seldom |
| Hunter | seldom |
| Jester | seldom |
| Knight | rarely |
| Laborer | often |
| Lawman | seldom |
| Lumberjack | seldom |
| Mercenary | seldom |
| Noble | scarce |
| Priest | seldom |
| Ranger | rarely |
| Sailor | seldom |
| Scribe | seldom |
| Servant | often |
| Shepperd | scarce |
| Slave | seldom |
| Soldier | seldom |
| Thief | seldom |
| Thug | seldom |
| Trader | seldom |
| Treasure Hunter | rarely |
| Wanderer | scarce |
| Wizard | rarely |
| Wrestler | seldom |
| Lighthouse Keeper | scarce |
| Landlord | seldom |
| Author | seldom |
| Lookout | seldom |
| Clocksmith | seldom |
| Exorcist | scarce |
| Soapmaker | seldom |
| Beekeeper | seldom |
| Botanist | seldom |
| Alchemist | seldom |
| Potioneer | seldom |
| Librarian | seldom |
| Bartender | seldom |
| Toymaker | seldom |
| Woodcarver | often |
| Squire | seldom |
| Roofer | often |
| Sculptor | seldom |
| Scholar | seldom |
| Nurse | often |
| Mortician | seldom |
| Historian | seldom |
| Gladiator | seldom |
| Barber | seldom |
| Dockworker | often |
| Bard, with magical abilities | rarely |
| Mayor | scarce |

209
tables/funny-books.org Normal file
View file

@ -0,0 +1,209 @@
Interview with some vampires
Cosmos-ology by Cal Sargan
I Golem
The 13 Habits of Highly Effective Necromancers
To Kill a Mimic-bird
The Grungs of Wrath
A Clockwork Orog
Invisible Man – when spells become permanent
All the King’s Men-at-Arms
The Blind-sight Assassin
Little Women – a book of famous gnomes and halflings
Are You My Mummy? A to choosing your undead servants
Three Mages in a Boat
The Wind in the Will-o’-wisps
A Passage to Icewind Dale
How I Ate My Mother – Confessions of a Lycanthrope
The Moonsea Chronicles
Fairefire 451
Do Golems Dream of Awakened Sheep?
The Little Elder Brain that Could
Thomas the Tank Elementalist – Story of a War Mage
The Very Hungry Carrion Crawler
Pride and Phylacteries.
Speaker with the Dead.
Heart of +1 Darkness.
Great Divinations.
Treasure Island: Find Yours.
Kidnapped (by Kobolds).
Of Near-Human Bondage.
Invisible Lizardman.
A Farewell to Armor: A Delver’s Guide to Rust Monsters.
For Whom the Die Rolls: A Fool’s Guide to Dice Games and Gambling.
The Great Gadsbee, and Other Famous Illusionists.
Blindsense and Sensibility: Feeling your Way in the Dark.
Blood Maridan.
Born Efreet.
Lucky Djinn.
The Life and Mines of a Dwarvish Prospector.
Star Lores (this is in the astronomy section).
A History of the Decline and Fall of the Dwarven Empire.
Of Mice and Half-Men
The Elvish Gene.
We’re Going on an Owl-bear Hunt
The Tale of Peter Rakshasa
Ferdinand the Bullette
The Worst Witch – a guide to min-maxing
Cloudy with a chance of Manitcores
The Pied Piper – Why you shouldn’t trust bards
Stuart Little and the Dangers of the Awaken Spell
Around the world in 80 Dimension Doors
The Hunger of Hadar Games
Pretty Woman: An Adventurer’s Guide to Nymphs ..
Dances with Wolves: An Adventurer’s Guide to Lycanthropes ..
There Will Be Blood: An Adventurer’s Guide to Vampires ..
Clear and Present Danger: A Dungeoneer’s Guide to Traps ..
Along Came a Spider: A Dungeoneer’s Guide to Driders and Drow ..
Kiss the Girls: A Traveler’s Guide to Succubi ..
Unwrapped: A Delver’s Guide to Mummies ..
Frozen: A Traveler’s Guide to Frost Giants ..
Tangled: A Delver’s Guide to Ropers ..
Into the Woods: An Adventurer’s Guide to Sprites and Pixies ..
Some like it hot: A guide to fire elementals
Under Da Sea: In Search of the Kraken ..
The Boy Who Cried Roc — A classic children’s tale about a boy that though it was funny to announce to the village that there was a Roc nearby. One day there was, and the nobody believed him. He was the only survivor.
The Five People You Meet in the Astral Plane
Girls Gone Feywild
Secret Life of Banshees
The Cat in the Hat – the joys of awaken
The Rise and Fall of the Third Roc
A Thousand Splendid Sunbursts
A Tree Grows in Baulder’s Gate
The Demon-Haunted World: Faith and a Sacred Flame in the Dark
The Conjuration Manifesto
The Grick who Stole Midwinter
The Phantom Tollbooth and other strange hauntings
Faerunian Gods
All the Light We Cannot See – counterspelling darkness
Me Before You: A Study of Initative Rolls.
50 Shades of Fey
50 Shades of Gray Oozes
50 Shades of Orange is the New Black
7 Habits of Highly Effective Peasants (The sequel to “The Hunger Games: A True Story”)
A Brave New Halfling: Small People Can Make a Big Difference (obviously a work of fiction)
A Farewell to Magics
A Handmaid’s Tail: a collection of short stories by notable Tieflings
A Hitchhikers Guide to the Multiverse
A Passage to the Underdark
A Tale of One Ettin
A Tale of Two Gith Seas – a traveller’s guide to the astral sea.
A Wrinkle in Mana.
Adventures with Muck, Berries, and Fins – a herbalist’s guide to useful foraging.
Airship Up
Alice’s Adventures in the Underdark
Ansalon, Ansalon! An Atlas of the Dragonlance land Ansalon
As I Lay at Zero Hit Points
Bigby’s Little Lies
Bond with the Wind – a guide to summoning elementals.
Buddy Folio. A magical tome which tells you who your true friends are so that you might rule them out as possible enemies… (Name doubles as an in-game social media network)
Bugbear, Bugbear, What do you See?
Catch 22D12
Catoblepas Shrugged
Celestials and Demons – a tale of a Githyanki explorer and his adventures through the planes.
Couatl in the Rye
Dante’s Infernal: A tourist’s guide to the nine hells
Diary of a Wimpy Kobold
Dignity and Discrimination
Dragon Turtles All the Way Down
Dretch-22
Eat, Prey, Club – A Guidebook for Orcs
Everything is Illuminated thanks to Faerie Fire.
Fantastic Drinks and where to buy them: A Dwarf’s guide to all the taverns in , cataloguing the best and most curious drinks each tavern has
Fight. Club. – A Comprehensive Guide for Barbarians (a pop-up book)
Fighter’s Club – First rule of Fighter’s Club, don’t talk about Fighter’s Club… Second rule of Fighter’s Club, protect the Cleric.
For Whom the Behir Tolls
For Whom the Bridge Troll – A tragic love story of a misunderstood Bridge Troll
Frank and his Stein – The story of a poor drunk named Frank
Game of Twilight
Girl with the Dragon Turtle – a story about a young elf’s journey through life.
Girl with the Dragonborn Tattoo
Glaive Hewn World
Gone with the Healing Wind
Gone with the Wind and a Fly Check
Great Incantations
Green Hags and Ham
Harry Otter. A story about a young orphan Druid who lives with his boring fighter uncle and aunt who denies the existence of druids. The story sees Harry start at the Druid school led by Albus Bumbledoor, the archdruid who loves to be a Bumblebee. Bumbledoor takes Harry under his gravity defying wings and tells him the true story about how his parents died and that he is known by all druids as The Otter Who Lived. He must now meet his destiny and fight the most evil druid of all time, Voldemoth. Featuring the great cast of: Ron the Weasel, Hermione Ranger (some people can never choose only one class), Hagrid the lover of all creatures, Severus Snake and many more!
Harry Otter and the Transmute Stone
Harry Otter and the Room of DMs Hidden Notes
Harry Otter and the Prisoner of the Fire Plane
Harry Otter and the Bag of Holding Fire
Harry Otter and the Order of the Phoenix
Harry Otter and the Half-Elf Prince
Harry Otter and the Saving throws
Fantastic Beasts and How To Turn Into Them
Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Kidney Stone, a thrilling novel how an ordinarily normal surgery gets complicated due to wild magic leaving Harry with unexpected results. Spoiler Harry gets magic and becomes Dr. Strange after prolonged contact with the Sorcerer’s insides
Heart of Darkvision
How to Cast Friends and Polymorph People
How to make Illusions and Charm People
Hunger for Names – a successful Nothic’s book of baby names for any and all species.
In His Steps, What Would Saint Cuthbert Do? – a religious self-help book.
In Kobold Blood
Journey to the centre of the Underdark
Llothlita
Lolth’s Web – a study of Drow religion.
Lord of the flies: A biography on Baalzebul
Lord of the Githzerai
Marr’E Rotter and the Sorcerer’s Bones – a jaded druid seeks the remains of a powerful sorcerer to bring about the end of the world
Memoirs of a Geisha in Oriental Adventures.
Memoirs of a Genasi
Memoirs of a Nymph – the life and times of a fey seductress.
Mephitmorphosis
Mordenkainenstein
Of Merr and Men
Of mimics and men
One Flew Over the Harpy’s Nest
One Flew Over the Kenku’s Nest
One Lich, Two Lich
One Thousand and One Knights
Paradise Lost: Make A Perception Check to Find It
Planar-shifting for People in a Hurry
Pride and Prestidigitation
Raging for Help: The Shocking True Story of one Barbarian’s Dark Past
Ready Mindflayer One
Rune -a story about the application and use of runes from an ancient desert society.
Satyrs and Sensibility
Sense Motive and Sensibility
Snow Dwarf and the Seven Wights
The (insert race here) Cook Book – A book about how to best cook (insert race here)
The Adventures of Goodberry Flint.
The Adventures of Nancy Druid
The Amityville Hook Horror
The Brothers Dragonbornov
The Charming Bones – a tale about a Necromancer looking for love in all the wrong places.
The Cockatrice in the Rye
The Constant Scrivener
The Dog in the Bog – a children’s tale about a Blink Dog disembowelling a Displacer Beast to save a swamp village.
The Drapes of Wrath – a guide to identifying and destroying animated objects.
The Giving Treant
The Grapes of Wraith: Wining and Dining the Undead
The Great Ghast-B
The Haunting of Every Place You Find
The Illithid by Virgil
The Left Hand Casts Darkness
The Lion, the Witch, and the War-forged
The Liches of Eastwick
The Lusty Lizardfolk Maid
The Odd Sea – Stories of ships disappearing/shipwrecks off the Sword Coast.
The Power of Mimics: Why Certain Encounters Have Extraordinary Impact
The Ruler of the Bracelets- It’s about two gnomes who find a bracelet of power, and they have to take it to the Burning Steppes and cast it into the Cauldron. They form the Brotherhood of the Bracelet. Along the way they’re trailed by a murloc named Gottom, who’s obsessed with the bracelet, and nine bracelet bogeymen. It could be a three-parter, called ‘Ruler of the Bracelet’. The first part would be called ‘The Brotherhood of the Bracelet’, followed by ‘A Couple of Towers’, with the climactic ending called ‘Hey, the King’s Back!'”
The Secret Life of Bards
The Sound and the Flurry of Blows
The Sound and The Fury (No change in the title but this is a ‘Buddy Cop’ novel with a Bard and Barbarian)
The Thieves Cant Tales
The Treant of Wildfell Hall.
The Ugly Darkling
The Vault in our Stars – an Illithid’s guide to the treasures of the Far Realms.
The Very Hungry Purple Worm – a children’s book about the death and devouring of civilization.
The Wizard of Ooze
The Wyrm in the Willows
‘Tis Pity She’s a Drow
To Kill a Griffon
To Kill a Manticore
To Kill a Roc with Birds – a military study on aerial combat.
War and Geas – an enchanter’s guide to bringing down established governments.
War of the Wurms
War or Peace: Make A Diplomacy Check
What to Expect When You’re Spectating – a history of the world written by a famed Beholder author.
Worg and Pieces
Zen and the Art of Punching Dragons in the Face: One Monk’s Life as an Adventurer

101
tables/interesting-books.org Normal file
View file

@ -0,0 +1,101 @@
- To Serve Man: An ogre cookbook on the delicate art of cooking humans.
- It’s Familiar, But Not Too Familiar: A guide on how to take care of you’re newly acquired companion.
- Who Moved My Cheese?: Step by step guide to Mage Hand for beginners.
- We’ve All Made Mistakes: Intro to Necromancy raising your dead wife.
- Of Fleet and Fancy: a Novel that tells the tales of Odd Heroes.
- Are you being invaded?: A guide book on how to protect one’s self from Ogres, Goblins, Kobolds, and woodland critters.
- Ogre’s Guide to tying Knots: A Simplistic Guide on how to Tie Various Knots.
- The Fall of Cavour: A Fictional Piece about the caveman wars.
- Temina’s Guide to Kobolds Volume 1 – 6: An introductory Field Guide to all the ins and out on Kobolds. (1d6 to see which volume it is)
- What Men know about Women: A Hard cover Book with One Hundred Empty Pages.
- Friar Albert’s Guide to Surviving Traps: Chalk, rope, torches and a sturdy pole are your best friends. And a brain.
- Friar Albert’s Guide to Forest Trails: Lichen and moss, you fool. Learn the difference.
- Friar Albert’s Guide to Brewing: You should probably not be adventuring while doing this.
- Friar Albert’s Guide to the History of [setting]: Braggins be quiet and pay attention!
- Friar Albert’s Guide to Herbs and Plants: If you can’t remember this then chew on some hemlock for your nerves.
- Friar Albert’s Guide to Publishing Law: No I can’t be held responsible if you only read the byline and then die.
- Friar Albert’s Guide to Fleeing the Academy and Hiding in a Church Cellar: A Memoir.
- Beholder in the eye of Beauty: Classic fashion tips for the beholder in your family!
- Maps, Maps, Maps: Tons of maps for your reading pleasure.
- The Lusty Argonian Maid: A classic Tamriel tale of a lusty lizardfolk maid.
- Dr. Harding’s Guide to Magic Science: Dr. Harding’s book describes how magic is a hoax to supress scientific explanations of the supernatural.
- Dungeon Masters and how to find them: mysterious book describing the seldom-seen beasts.
- A Monster’s Guide to Secret Lairs: Everything a monster needs to know about making the perfect home.
- The Faerun Survival Guide [1st edition]: Written (and illustrated by) St. Moyra of Bron Abbey as the complete reference for would-be adventurers or visiting celestials. Written by a recluse and based on what had been told to the author by word of mouth, it contains many “facts” that should probably not be followed.
- Behind The Wall: A book made out human skin. This book is constantly wet and smells like a fresh corpse. This book talks about a seal in a cave underwater. Unsure of why but after reading this you get the feeling that you want to break the seal.
- Stranger in my dreams: This book talks about the author recalling a depraved creature who over time got closer and closer to her in her dreams. The book seems to be a diary and was never finished. When you read the last finished page in this book you take 1d8 points of psychic damage.
- Curiosity Kills the Cat: When you open this thick maroon colored book you quickly realize there is only one page inside. The text drips onto the floor as soon as you begin to read it. You cannot understand any of the text but you immediately realize the text tells of your demise.
- Influence of the Ocean: This book can only be read when near the ocean or on a rainy day. Inside the book talks about a man who is waiting for you in the ocean. He mentions all of the rewards he is keeping for you. If you roll and succeed an insight check DC16 you’ll find out that this is man is lying to you. If he is real or not you don’t know.
- Diary of a Thief: This book is a pocket sized leather diary. Every time a player finishes a page of this book they lose a gold coin Unsure of where it went.
- Uncle Chuv’s Peanut Butter Problem: Upon reading this the room will smell more and more like peanut butter. When the book is finished it will mold into a jar of endless peanut butter. It is impossible to get rid of this book normally. The only way to get rid of this book is to burn the jar in fire. If you attempt to eat a spoonful of this peanut butter you take 1d4 points of psychic damage.
- Changing Secrets: This sparkling book smells like incense. Inside the book talks about one of your secrets (ask player). This book when read causes every person in the room to know one secret of yours.
- Patterns of Behavior: an anthology of mood effecting quilt work – a small hardcover picture book of patterns that slightly effect one’s mood.
- Timeless Words of Wisdom for the Courtroom, Phrases That Persuade From the Backwoods to the Big City: This is a full compendium of philosophical and legal summaries that can arm a budding lawyer with a mental skill set to be cunning and out think their opponent.
- Fifty Shades of Drow: A bestseller among women, as it details the finer points of the Matriarchal society. With tips on how to properly train and punish your man-servants while maintaining your femininity, this book would be banned if only men would actually read it.
- Where is that dragon egg? A handy tip book for managing clutter in the workshop.
- Fireside Singalongs: A simple songbook for bored travelers, with optional sheet music for instrumental accompaniment.
- Income Management and Financial Assessment: A book containing several long chapters detailing ways to horde, hide, and invest gold. Hidden within are several nude illustrations of females of the common races.
- The life and times of Volo: Autobiographical book featuring the exaggerated and often blatantly false adventures of the well traveled Volo.
- What To Do When You Find Children: A guidebook to dealing with found children and other such inconveniences in various dangerous situations.
- Learn To Read: An incredibly dense book that details the process of learning the art of reading Common, almost impossible to understand, even for those fluent in Common.
- Gobbo and Me: – A children’s book about the dangers of befriending Goblins.
- An Almanack of Practical Mortis: An exhaustive collection of tables detailing how corpses decompose under various circumstances, along with an appendix that explains step-by-step how to remove maggots, close large wounds, and reset broken bones. If the players obtain it second-hand, bits of paper with names such as “Aunty Milla” and “Betrand (4c3r)” are attached by weak adhesive to some of the pages. A successful Perception check reveals that there are slight remnants of adhesive left above each note, as if someone kept moving the note down the page over time.
- A Study on Cloud Castles: This book presents numerous theories on how the giant’s fabled cloud castles might work.
- How to Talk to Gnolls Without Getting Torn to Shreds: This book is based off of the notes of an ambitious goblin who was evidently torn to shreds.
- The Beasts of Menita Valley: A book detailing the magical fauna of a valley you have never heard of.
- All Horns & Tails? A Beginner’s Guide on Everything Tieflings: Halifar the Bard walks you through the wide and wild world of Tieflings, their heritage, and how to even make friends with our infernal neighbors.
- 1001 Edible & Magical Plants of Chult: Visiting Chult but not sure what to eat and what to avoid? This information packed book is the definitive guide on navigating the delicious, dangerous gardens of Chult.
- A Raven Flew Overhead: The Raven Queen, lady of mystery and intrigue. Misunderstood. Antihero? Quillo Quillorobor delves into the history of this storied individual, parsing fact from fiction. With exclusive interviews with folks who knew her best, all the way from the Shadowfell itself, this book is a must read.
- Fun With Tears: A book detailing the magical and alchemical properties of tears.
- The Social Practices of Various Avian Humanoids: This book tells you all you need to know about interacting with bird people.
- Fey’runds Tales: a children’s book of fables.
- Eye: A tale of the journey of the company of the eye. Their rise, their fall, their legacy.
- Naught but the Wind’s Caress: A collection of torrid love stories between a High Elf and their Human lover.
- Illuminarium Battalia: A manual of fighting with magic and steel.
- Where Is The Pancreas, and How To Prepare It: The cannibal’s guide to fine dining.
- Rock Hard: The definitive guide to Dwarven diplomacy.
- Red Goes Faster: The definitive biography of Zomo the mad goblin who broke out of the celestial sphere and returned to tell about it.
- The Skull – A heavy book filled with a long stream-of-consciousness narrative describing a single humanoid skull in careful detail. The narrator seems completely focused on the skull, never describing its origins, its surroundings, or themselves.
- Kobold Jokes: A joke book, written in Draconic. The jokes are terrible, even by Kobold standards.
- A Treatise On The Non-Existence Of This Treatise: A small pamphlet that attempts to convince the reader that the pamphlet does not exist, and that it is in fact a figment of the reader’s imagination. Despite being written in a very academic and generally formal tone, the arguments within are mostly circular or otherwise fallacious.
- Dream Journal: A carefully illustrated dream journal by a famous wizard of old, containing a large amount of arcane truths. The pages have been scrawled with black ink, rendering it illegible.
- Necromancy for Imbeciles: An introductory guide to the basics of necromancy. Has been hollowed out to allow for storage, though it appears normal. Contains a skeleton of a large rodent.
- The Ravings of Garvus [3rd Edition]: The assorted notes and thoughts of an ancient and powerful wizard from an era long past. His mind was obliterated upon making contact with unknown entities, but records of his journey into madness remain.
- Hilarious Knock-Knock Jokes to Say Out Loud: A thin and suprisingly old-looking book containing a few genuinely good knock-knock jokes. At least one punchline is actually the true name of a powerful demon.
- The Next Hunt – Volume I: Wyverns: The first in a series of installments detailing an abundance of methods for finding and hunting various monsters. Each volume covers a different creature.
- Let Me Out Of Here: Once a simple children’s picture book, it is now the seal for multiple malevolent poltergeists that break free of the book’s pages when it is opened. They are not particularly grateful to those who released them.
- “Help! I’m a dwarf turned into a book”
- Short But Stout: A list of recipes and information on Dwarven ale.
- The Tale Of Crimshaw The Sweet: A legendary tale of an infamous Tiefling baker who killed dozens of orcs by baking them poisonous cookies.
- Orc Smith Compendium: An extensive informative book about Orcish weaponry, armor, and miscellaneous metal items.
- Animated Apocrypha: A Book of Movement and Morals: An enchanted book of tales with illustrations that move on their own in a set repeating pattern. The tales tend to connect to the nearest civilization and depict stories of good morals.
- 101 Morsels And Monsters: A cook book detailing various recipes based around safely using the meat of creatures adventurers might slay in battle.
- Coppers For Your Thoughts: A small book of random musings, quotes, and anecdotes. None are attributed to any authors.
- An Anatomical Study of Magical Creatures: A set of 6 volumes on the interior structure of magical, extra-planar beings.
- On the History of the First Era: A historical documentation of the day-to-day life in the antiquated Prime Material.
- Tome Prime: A thick book of hundreds of pages in a language unintelligible to all but the author; seems to be a novel of some sort.
- Verdant Home: A slim book where the words are mangled by travel into the Far Realm. Seems to tell the story of a family in an impossible home.
- A Herbalist’s Guide to Surviving: This diary details the accounts a famous halfling smuggler, who was best known for smuggling his home made rum into kingdoms throughout the world during the great alcohol depression. With proper study the reader can reproduce the famous Sweetfoot Rum recipe from the different mentions, hints and references scattered across the pages of this book.
- The Fall of the Empire: On the surface, this appears to merely be a recounting of the opulent Haloan Empire’s fall from power centuries ago. Some claim, however, that careful analysis reveals it as a scathing commentary on the notoriously corrupt court of King Judicus, written in code to keep the author from harm.
- Arcane Secrets: A generous manuscript contains description of inner workings of various contraptions and automatons and instruction manual to programming automatons, allowing any intermediate transmuter to create their very own contraptions!
- From Ghouls to Ghosts: The book is chaotic and hard to understand, written in an unknown dialect which makes it very slow to read. Contained within are the studies of a powerful necromancer on how interplanar travel might be used to achieve functional immortality.
- Our Friend the Cactus: Written by a dwarf wizard by the name of Daven Wraithmail, this treatise explains the growth and upkeep of a Gulthias Tree as well as several manners to corrupt seeds of other trees in order to create a suitable vessel. An entire chapter is dedicated to the domestication of the resulting blights which sprout from said tree and their training to better protect your new sapling.
- To Cheat A Devil: The autobiography of a man who tricked dozens of minor devils, and even a few archdevils into doing his nefarious bidding. It seems like this man should be much more well known if the events described in this book actually took place.
- There, they’re, their, and back again: A halfling’s guide to grammar.
- Don’t You Worry About The Bugs!: Every thing you need to know about bugs. Rise, feed, kill and cook your best friend!
- The True Rulers of Our Countries: A controversial document in and of its own right, this book talks about the creation of the Prime Material and Inner planes. A thin volume which only contains 4 pieces of paper, however these papers are magically enchanted to pass through the thousands of pages of content which this book holds. The author of the document seems almost too knowing on the subject, almost as if he were there…
- Stories from the Orkholds: A collection of poems written by an orcish adventurer and skald. The majority of the book is an epic saga, recounting the various deeds of the adventuring party the poet was a part of, with later short poems about specific aspects of adventurers’ lifestyle. The later poems touch on a wide array of topics, such as the joys of a shared victory, longing for hearth and home, and the simple pleasure of splitting a foe in half lengthwise.
- The Night’s Embrace: A book about the primordial titans, mostly legend and myth, collected by an eccentric young wizard who traveled the planes looking for information about them. This book is highly frustrating to scholars because the last entry is the beginning of a summary of an actual historical document, which has never been found. The book is unfinished and the wizard has not been seen for hundreds of years.
- The Story of Graye: The story of a slave forced to be a pit-fighter who turned to meditation as an escape from his violent life. This book is not well written, and is probably an earlier work of a novice author that never reached wide spread fame.
- The Inner Workings of a Gulthias Tree: A dense acedemic treaty on the biology of cacti. If one has the patience it is very interesting in its own way. The book also details a large number of edible cacti, as well as those that can be used as water sources in the harsh deserts.
- 1011 Prayers for the Dead: A large, black covered book describing the funerary rituals of almost every culture in the known world.
- On “The Aleum”: This book is a modern copy very ancient commentary on an epic poem named The Aleum, which was already very ancient when On “The Aleum” was written. No original copy of The Aleum has been located, therefore On “The Aleum” has fascinated historians.
- Raising the Steaks: A comprehensive guide on rearing cattle in environments that are likely to include monsters. Includes detailed and somewhat bizarre methods to scare away potential predators.
- FINISH THEM: A bright red book that talks about the coolest ways to end a brutal fight. (PC who reads this can roll intimidation once after reading it for killing someone)
- Do it Yourself – Comic Book: A yellow book that’s empty at first. Over the course of a month though the book will fill itself with all the adventures you go on. The cooler the adventures and dialogue the more the book is the worth if you sell it!
- A Story About The Letter X: This pretty orange book was written by Marc Dahspaht. Honestly not sure who that could be the book talks about the best ways of hiding gold and making a map to lead to it.
- The Aarcana-sutra: A one stop guide to magic and its uses within the bedroom.
- Cooking with pig meat: A book that smells like bacon. You try to read it, but the pages inside the cover are wrapped in bacon. If you try to unwrap it, it’s bacon all the way down, until you get to a small slip of paper that says “oink”.
- Golden Fleece: Empty book, has 50 gold coins in it. Has a page describing gold and how tasty it is. Upon further inspection, the gold coins are chocolate.
- Library Book of Libraries: A photo book showing a series of decrepit bookshelves, along with locations.

102
tables/library-books.org Normal file
View file

@ -0,0 +1,102 @@
- ‘101 Ways to Cook an Ooze’ – Interesting recipes include gelatinous cube cocktail, ochre apple jelly, and salted pudding
- ‘Physiologies of Magical Creatures’ – Information on the biology of Beholders, Dragons, Unicorns, and more. Full of diagrams.
- ‘The Prophecies’ – Tales of great adventures. Partway through, all the pages become blank
- ‘How to Spot a Mimic’ – Tips such as listen for breathing, and see if it responds to being touched
- ‘Bordrick’s Fantastic Adventure’ – Dwarven choose your own adventure book
- ‘Planeshifting’ – Details different ways to travel between different planes of existence
- ‘On Monstrous Races’ – Discusses whether monstrous races should or should not be allowed into society
- ‘The Outside’ – A self-written account by someone you know who saw a vision of them self as a small plastic figurine on a table surrounded by a number of god-like beings after they talked to a group of adventurers
- ‘Human?’ – Story about an ogre who, despite his incompetence, convinced everyone that he was actually a very tall human, became a king, then was discovered and beheaded.
- ‘Landmarks to Visit Before You Die’ – Details a number of landmarks and monuments in a country or city you have never heard of
- ‘The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Kingdom’ – A book with not entirely inaccurate advice on ‘how to see the kingdom on less than 30 copper pieces a day’. The very first page contains only the words ‘Don’t Panic’ printed in large, friendly letters.
- ‘Incredible Creatures and How to Kill Them’ – Details weaknesses monsters are known to have. It is part of a five-volume set; the first volume is for beginners (level 1-4), the second for the somewhat experienced (level 5-8) and so on.
- ‘Magic for Dummies’ – Explains what magic is and how it works in the style of ‘___ for Dummies’ books. Does not teach one how to cast spells.
- ‘Wish It, Want It, Screw It’ – detailed accounts of times the Wish spell backfired horribly.
- ‘So Long, and Thanks for All the Ale’ – The story of Tarvish the dwarf, who had unpaid bar tabs worth a total of 10,000 gold all across the country before being arrested
- ‘Flumphs; the Pleasant Surprises of the Underdark’ – A journal accounting some time that a researcher spent living with a cloister of flumphs. The author documented at least once every day for a month
- ‘Taming the Beast’ – A perfect book for beginner beastmasters. Gives tips and tricks on how to win over wild creatures of all kinds. It starts with tiny creatures like frogs and crabs, followed by small creatures like eagles and fire beetles, medium creatures like giant badgers and giant frogs, large creatures like owlbears and bulettes, and finishes with huge creatures like elephants and some dinosaurs.
- ‘A Day in the Life of a Lemure’ – A beginner demon/devil researcher decided to start his studies on the weakest of all fiend kind, the lemure. After summoning a lemure in a remote location, he watched its behavior for a day. After gathering the information needed, the author had the hideous abomination placed within a special containment vessel, alongside the many empty ones that would house the many other fiends. At the end of the book lies a map to the research facility. If the party decides to go there, they will find out that the author finished doing research on an imp, manes, and dretch as well.
- ‘The Spider King’ – A fictional tale of an adventurer delving into the underdark to slay a fearsome giant spider.
- ‘The Bjernson Family Tree And Exploits’ – The family tree of a nordic clan with all the males named Bjern Bjernson. This book helps tell them apart.
- ‘Rosaline And Mercutio’ – A romantic tragedy by Bill Shaking-lance.
- ‘Pictures of Cats’ – A picture book full of photos of cats dressed in cute outfits and doing cute things. It’s about the size of an average dictionary.
- ‘I Can’t Believe It’s Not Harmless!’ – A hefty guide of herbs, mushrooms and berries that surround the city where the book was found. It contains accurate annotations of the ailments due to consumption or touch, with descriptive drawings of people having diarrhea or throwing up.
- ‘Hit The Apple, Not My Face!’ – A Detailed Guide to Archery’ This book even includes instructions for constructing a simple bow and targets.
- ‘Baby Dragon Destroys the Village’ – A truly heartwarming children’s book.
- ‘AAARRGGHH!: A Barbarian’s Guide to Clobbering Your Enemies’ – The writing is messy and misspelled, and some of the letters are are backwards. What’s more, the cover is splattered with blood on the bottom right corner, like someone was violently clobbered by the book.
- ‘The Three Little Goblins’ – Three goblins set off to build houses of wood, straw, and enchanted brick and start new lives, but the Big Bad Dire Wolf complicates things.
- ‘Claiming the Crown’ – An Experienced Guide to Assassinating Royals’ – How to brew a poison, how to create a disguise, tips on wielding daggers, and more!
- ‘The Banshees I Have Loved’ – A tragedy of five acts.
- ‘Phylomagenetics and the Herbalist’ – A primer for the professional and newcomer alike.
- ‘Population Dynamics of Cryptosaurs’ – A treatise on the ever-evolving age structures of dragons by region and plane.
- ‘Memoirs of a Goblin’ – A dramatic, often erotic, first-person biography of a female goblin groomed to be a concubine in an exotic land. The author is a male elf.
- ‘How to Win Friends and Enchant People’ – Despite the title, has nothing to do with magic, but it does have some good advice about how to make yourself seem more approachable.
- ‘The Dragon with a Girl Tattoo’ – A psychological mystery thriller about a detective who befriends a shapeshifted silver dragon with a dark past, to find a murderer before he strikes again.
- ‘To Kill a Manticore’ – There isn’t a single manticore in the entire book, it’s about a half-orc on trial for a crime he didn’t commit and the halfling lawyer who represents him.
- ‘The 7 Habits of Highly Effective Adventurers’ – A self-help book with an optimistic view of the steps a person must take to succeed as an independent contractor with a sword.
- ‘Eat, Summon, Love’ – A married woman realizes how unhappy her marriage really is, and that her life needs to go in a different direction. After a painful divorce, she joins a cult of necromancers to ‘find herself’. Based on a true story.
- ‘Bahamut Shrugged’ – An action-thriller written by one of the world’s most controversial philosophers, the novel is set in a dystopia where magic is tightly regulated and only Gon Jalt can liberate magic-users from the non-magical ‘parasites’, i.e. everyone else.
- ‘Cockatrice Soup for the Soul ‘ – This book is so commonplace, it’s a cliche that in every house where a woman of a certain age lives, there will be at least one heavily-read copy of this book with it’s sappy stories and cloyingly sweet words of wisdom. It is beyond worthless.
- ‘The Origin of Magical Species’ – Full title: On the Origin of Magical Species by Means of Supernatural Selection, or the Preservation of Favoured Races in the Struggle for Life, is considered to be the foundation of understanding of how magic has shaped the evolution of the natural world. Although the theories presented inside are accepted as fact by nearly all universities and centers of learning, some religions regard it as heretical and have asked to have it banned.
- ‘The Geographica Gelatinousa’ – 101 Oozes and How to Avoid Them
- ‘My Life as a Human Being’ – A Dragon’s Observation on Humanoid Culture
- ‘Harold Haversham’s Holisitic Handbook of Healing’ – At first it appears to be a beginners guide to crafting potions, however as the book progresses the author becomes more and more adamant that all ailments are purely mental. There is a detailed account in which the author was treating a man for a broken arm and healed it through weekly mental therapy sessions.
- ‘Wager like a Winner’ – A Goblins Guide to Gambling by Grey ‘Greedy’ Gradnok
- ‘The Wizard of Odds’ – Betting for Profit by B.M. Sawbuck
- ‘So You Want to be a …..series’ – Illustrated beginner guides to becoming a Wizard, Druid, Ranger etc for children.
- ‘The Potion Diaries’ – One Girl’s Intoxicating Adventures by Madame S. Ruth
- ‘Lost in Translation’ – The Art of the Scribe by Thoth Gardiner
- ‘Fitting a Square Peg Through a Round Hole: The curious mobility of oozes’
- ‘Half Human, Half Horse, All Man’ – A defense of carnal relationships with beast races
- ‘Halfling Histories’ – An incomplete telling of the tales of the half-folk
- ‘The Orc’s Cookbook: 101 ways to prepare an elf’ – To make the hunt taste delicious
- ‘Every. Accomplished. Recognizable. Sentient. by Tommeltop the Gnome’ – An encyclopedia of anyone who accomplished anything of moderate note ever, however most of each page is dedicated to greatly exaggerated, suitably cringy and oddly romantic paragraphs about how great each person’s ears must have been. Any brave soul who actually reads the book through is suddenly able to recall in perfect detail the ears of anyone they’ve ever seen before,for no apparent reason. (Perhaps there are drawings and details of the pc’s and their ears as well)
- ‘The Cantrip-bury Tales’
- ‘The Lord of the Rings’ A historical fiction-esque set of books about an adventuring party ages ago in a material plane far, far away.
- ‘Names to Run Away From’ – A collection of monsters, plant, fungus, magical phenomenon and other miscellaneous ‘things’ that even the most accomplished – or desperate- of adventurers avoid – for they are easy to kill, but they are also a mighty pain in the behind and, even more importantly, in your wallet.
- ‘The Legend of Atlas’ – A collection of the all the known myths and legends in the world from the beginning of the written to the present.
- ‘Merfolk Companions’ – This book details how Merfolk capture and train seals as pets.
- ‘Forever and Always’ – The future predictions of a historian who lived two centuries ago. His predictions continue on for another four hundred years.
- ‘Prince of Reality’ – A philosophical book that tries to explain the true nature of reality.
- ‘The Common Woman’s Guide to Royalty’ – A guide on how every lady should act in society.
- ‘The Witch’s Guide to Home brew Potions’ – A series of tips on how to be the most successful witch you can be
- ‘Becoming a Paladin: A full guide to becoming the lawful good person you always hoped to be!’ – This thick volume even includes how to protect orphanages and the correct means of smiting your enemies.
- ‘Being Familiar With Your Familiar: The book for casters who wish to bond with their animal companions’ – A field guide to all common and some uncommonly seen familiars in the area.
- ‘New Technology: Summer Special Edition’ – This information source gives details on many new forms of technology, such as reinforced crossbows, iron hunting traps, and many, many magic items.
- ‘The Tao of Earth’ – Starts with philosophical musings about the importance of creation and stability over destruction and change. This book is written in an old dialect that most people (even magic users) have trouble reading. It occasionally goes on long-winded philosophical tangents.
- ‘The Tao of Water’ – Starts with a note: lava and water is basically the same thing! don’t try to use fire spells on it. If you fail to understand this basic, the Tao will forever escape you. This book is written in an old dialect that most people (even magic users) have trouble reading. It occasionally goes on long-winded philosophical tangents.
- ‘The Tao of Air’ – Starts with philosophical musings on how a fickle thing like air is needed for (long-lived) living creatures to breathe. There is a 5% chance of an ancient erotic letter being found loose inside. This book is written in an old dialect that most people (even magic users) have trouble reading. It occasionally goes on long-winded philosophical tangents.
- ‘The Tao of Fire’ – Starts with a strict warning to master at least one of the other 3 elemental books first, because while many people think playing with fire is fun, it’s not worth dying over. This book is written in an old dialect that most people (even magic users) have trouble reading. It occasionally goes on long-winded philosophical tangents.
- ‘The Tao of Life’ – This volume is the thickest, but somehow the least complete; it contains many anatomical diagrams, as well as several normative references to The Tao of Death. This book is written in an old dialect that most people (even magic users) have trouble reading. It occasionally goes on long-winded philosophical tangents.
- ‘The Tao of Death’ – This volume is missing from most sets after a book-burning campaign, but its existence is well known. This book is written in an old dialect that most people (even magic users) have trouble reading. It occasionally goes on long-winded philosophical tangents.
- ‘The Tao of Secrets’ – The existence of this volume is not widely known, and its veracity is debated among scholars; all claimed copies of this volume appear to consist entirely of blank pages, which nobody has ever manage to cast a spell to extract the information out of – thus suspicions that they’re fake. But they do appear to be just as old as the other volumes …
- Lolthlita
- ‘Fifty Shades of Drow’ – Part history and part fan fiction starring Lolth.
- ‘The Summoning of Dragons’ – A Celestial’s guide to the methods and dangers of calling on the great reptiles.
- untitled book – this book contains no text, and has a small hole cut into the pages which contains something of value (coins, a key, etc.)
- ‘Keeper of the Keys’ – Whenever a creature reads this book, they slowly fall asleep then ‘awaken’ inside the book (their body remains in the real world). Living inside of the book is a half-man, half-dog extraplanar being who owns a copy of every key in existence, and whose only entertainment is reading books, but several of the books available for him to read are unfinished close to their ending. The party can enter the incomplete books to finish their stories (incomplete books could be a story of a great battle, a story where an assassin must be chased down, or something similar), and should they finish all of the stories given to them to complete, the Keeper of the Keys shall give them a key. Should they die inside of a book, a person will simply be ejected from it, rather than die outright.
- ‘Gnome means Gnome’ – A beginner’s guide to understanding the differences between the shorter races of the realm.
- ‘Sparing?’ – An orc bandit slowly goes from blood raging pillager to being a member of society. A heartwarming tale of death, destruction, and love.
- ‘Deck of Limiting Things’ – A collection of possibly true tales about people who used the deck of many things and the chaos that followed.
- ‘The Art of Procrastination and How to Perfect it’ – A book filled with scribbles. It is only halfway finished
- ‘Forging for Dummies’ – A book on how to forge weapons and tools, writen by a dwarf as a gift to his human pupil.
- ‘Diamonds in the rough’- A book on soul gems and their proper creation.
- ‘The very hungry Chimera’- A children’s book detailing the complicated diet of a magical monster. It ends with the chimaera eating an adventuring party and falling asleep.
- ‘Guinness’ Book of world records’- A book crafted over a lifetime by an adventurer named Guinness. It contains accomplishments such as ‘Worlds largest dragon’ ‘Longest time spent in a beholders lair’, ‘Fattest goblinoid’ And ‘Most monstrosities slain in a day
- ‘How to capture your princess’ – A collection of dating tips, advices and tricks, written by, for, and to men. Use it at your own risk!
- ‘Backstage’ – Detailing the more mundane dangers of the adventuring life, like insufficient supplies, inappropriate gear, public reactions, illnesses and the common lack of money – with tips and advices how to prevent them (the second edition have humorous footnotes from the author).
- ‘You and Evil’ – A promotional(?) book from the Nine Hells. Details most of the pros and cons to working for the infernal realm, with useful notes on the ‘gray zones’. May cause surveillance by the temples of good.
- ‘Personal Care for Adventurers’ – Tells adventurers how to maintain a clean, healthy look after weeks in the wilderness.
- ‘Berries and You’ – Informs the reader on edible and inedible berries found in the wild.
- ‘Castle Architecture’ – A book about how castles and the like are constructed.
- ‘Bardic Legends From Far Away Lands’ – A book about legends often sung or performed by bards.
- ‘How To Waste Good Paper’ – The pages inside this book are beautifully designed with colorful trim and a flowery layout. Other than the title, however, this book has no content in its pages. (Detect Magic: It is a spellbook written with magical invisible ink (or runes, etchings, message, mark, whatever) detailing only one spell to learn: Detect Magic)
- ‘Everyday Lives’ – A compilation of the contents of journals which were obtained from ordinary people.
- Avatar: The Last Airbender’ – A 3 volume set of books in which a young elemental monk learns to harness his his power so that he may bring peace to a hundreds years war.
- ‘Tic-Tic-Twang’ – A detailed guide for creating clockworks, golems, animated items, and traps, rather easily. Restricted in most kingdoms, as its too valuble to outright ban and destroy its knowledge, despite the widespread collaterral damage after its first releases. The bounty for the authors is still valid.
- ‘Magic in the House’ – The legacy of an archmage suffering from an obsession about cleanliness. Explains how to use the different schools of magic to help with the chores around your home. Apprentices around the world curse whoever thought its good for thier training that they need to do those chores manually.
- ‘Gary’s Guide to Gathering Gold’ – A story about how some guy named Gary wrote a role-playing game called ‘Fiends and Fortresses’ and made millions of gold selling thousands of copies.
- ‘Fiends and Fortresses – Player’s Handbook’ – A book on how the play the popular role-playing game ‘Fiends and Fortresses’, where players roll dice to fight fantastical creatures and adventure through fortresses while someone designated a ‘Fortress Master’ tells a story.
- ‘Fiends and Fortresses – Fortress Master’s Guide’ – A book on how to lead players through a story and gameplay in the popular role-playing game ‘Fiends and Fortresses’
-

101
tables/magical-books.txt Normal file
View file

@ -0,0 +1,101 @@
Making Friends; a History of Necromancy.
A Treatise on the Problem of Infinite Demiplanes
Ozohr's Compendium of Glyphs for Crystalline Structures, Fifth Edition
Analysis of Divination Spell Extension into the Astral Plane
'This Spell is Harmless' and Other Lies To Tell Yourself
Dragons, Drakes, and Winged Demons; a Guide to Fire Breathers
Hefty and Heavy; Proper wand shaping for beginners
Common Rune Mistakes and Their Consequences, a Summary
Fireball Illustrated
Aardvarks to Anvils; Unique uses for Polymorph
The Arcana-Sutra
The Illusion of Space; A primer on Conjuration Magic
1,000 Prophecies to Keep Your Eye On
A Humble Collection of Heresies
Survival in the Outer Planes and in the Astral Sea
Those That Came Before; An Overview of Extinct Magical Traditions and What We Can Learn from Them
Darkness; Creating, Dispelling, and Exploiting It
Advanced Draconic Anatomy
Angels and How to Avoid Them
10,000 Runes Without Meaning
Spellbook Minimalism
Understanding the Alien Minds of Gods, Outsiders, and Yet Stranger Creatures
The Magic of Stone and the Souls of Mountains
This Ore That; Choosing your first Rock Golem
Beyond the Cauldron - Brewing Potions in the Wilderness; a Personal Story
Proof of a Positive Relationship Between Leysian Crossings and Levitation Enchantment Potency
Gwynssin Revisited: The Transformative School of Enchantment in the Eleventh Century
Introductory Life Extension, Revised Edition - Now 100% dark magic free!
Great Spirit Aid: A Study of Unique Varieties of Incorporeal Summoning Among the Northwestern Tribes!
Ten Basic Shields: A Revolutionary New Way to Categorize Abjurations!
The Common Genealogical Ancestor of Kobolds & Lizardfolk!
The Science of Magic, a Treatise
Rags to Reigns - a Traveler's Guide to the Nine Hells
Making the Most of Your Allies; Why You Should Focus on Transmutation and Necromancy
101 Easy Magic Items You Can Make on the Road
Our Darker Sisters; A Cautionary Volume on the Dangers of Dealing with Hags
lasreveR fo kooB s'karalS (also known as An Abjurer's Guide to Counterspelling)
On the Transmutation of Gold to Lead - A primer
A Perditio Tempus; My journey to making True Strike good again
Myths of Malumnak the Mad; a collection of stories about that craziest of wizards
Analysis of the Extended Lifetime of Draconic Respiratory-Flame Droplets in a Turbulently Vaporized Floomph Puff
Relative Temporo-Thaumic Desynchronization Transitions in Hasted Targets
A Vortex of Annihilation in a Tea-cup - Practical Applications of Collapsing Spheres
Evidence of Omni-Planar Asymmetries Seeded by High-Density Ablator Nonuniformity in Experiments Involving Deific Artifacts and Magically Simulated Dragon-fire
Convergence of Eigen-Tensor Continuations in Infinite Dimensional Kismet-Hazard Prognostications
Evidence of Potts-Neme-Tenseric Superfluidity in Non-agonal Optical Levitation
Direct Observation of Fractal-Dimensional Percolation in Renal Pyramids - In Search of the Philosopher's Kidney-stone, Diary of a Personal Journey
Fast Friends; An Autobiographical Account Regarding Dangerous and Morally Ambiguous Misuses of Charm Spells
Treatise on Temporal Foresight in Divination
Annals of Grafted Incarnum: Soul Splicing
Practical Applications of the Demiplane Spell
Arcane Tearing: An Enchanting Primer
The Complete Guide to Bypassing the Crystal Sphere's Barrier
Complete Compendium of Deific Dogma
The Philandering Philosophy in Respect to the Power Scale of Magic Users: A Deep Observation
Syntax and Semantics in Spell Components
A Critical Review of Every Known Spell, The Complete Collection, 5th edition (23 volumes)
Selective Topics in the Stylistics of Spellcasting
Gendry's Guide to Non-gullible Golems
The Titillating Truth of Tubular Tome Making
The Delirious Despot: A Psychoanalytic Approach
Elder Evils' Encyclopedia
Unabridged Atlas of Arcane Observations in Astronomy
Vellum of Viscous Vindication: Curse Construction
Magnum Opus of Mythallar Musing
Contemporary Codex of Celestial Cadavers
Death's Ancestors; An Etymological Analysis of the Words of Power
A Cultural History of Dark Magic
The Element of Destruction; An Exploration of Primordial Evocation Magics
Competing Elemental Theories
Meditations on the Feasibility of Chronomancy
Wild Magic and Mesuring Risk
A Compendium of the Many Moods of the Weave
The Life and Death of Gods
Martial Skills and Tactics for the Adventuring Wizard
The Lost Wonders of Epic Magic
The Lure of Lichdom; Meditations on Mortality
Alnam's Encyclopedia of Herbal Components
Probing Transport and Structure-Property Relationship of Highly Ordered Orgone Superthaums Lattices at the Ethereal-Material Planar Limit - Towards Living in an Immaterial World
Unveiling Macroscopic Structures of Neutrally Charged Elemental Interfaces by Surface-Specific Vibrational Spectromagy - My Conversations with Water, and other Treatises.
Complexified Paths, Integral Saddles; Sovereign Glue and the Super-sandwich Principle - Taming Magical Steeds via Liberal Application of Math-magical and Culinary Threats
Hidden Symmetries, Instabilities, and Currency Speculation Suppression in Brownie Rackets - How to beat Fey Loan Sharks at Their Own Game
Enhanced Stochastic Resonance and Spatiotemporal Synchronization in a Mass Hasted Party - A Stab in Time, Saves Thee and Thine
The Shape of the First Collapsed Objects - Ancient Architecture of the First Great Mage Empire, Magical Weaponry, and the Application There-of
Emerging Patterns in Oscillatory Absorption of Thaumo-Ultra-Acoustic Waves - Using Suggestion and Modify Memory to Get Ahead
Exponentia Foramina & The Leyline Convergence Matrix, Inter Alia
Mordenkainen's Toenails and Chrysolite Powder's Usefulness in the Discernment of Arcano-Confounding Proto-Runes
Trans-substantial Passage of Quickened Objects or Entities Without Persistent Liminal Agency of Hyperagonal Media
Sustained Transpontine Circumpenetration - Secrets of Sigil Stone
On Post-Morpholiths and Proto-Daedric Sigils in the Pnakotic Testaments - All Signs Point to 'Nope'
Essential Geomantic Engineering for Those of Average Intelligence
Philosophy of Low-Energy Magery - a Confoundingly Incomplete Treatise, with Editor's Commentary
On the Sending Out of the Soul
Parchments of Pnom - A Complete and Original Translation
Las Reglas de Ruina - translated to the Common Vernacular by Meisters Theodorius and Chevillion, with Commentary and Compleat Appendix
Seven Cryptical Books of Hsan - The Dream-Quest of Unknown Kadath Explained
Search for Heavy Resonance Decaying in the Phase of the Ethereal Plane
Pressure Effects on Phlogiston Among Other Parameters in Limbo Environment
Ultrafast Evocation Dynamics and Interactions in Complex Weave Networks
Organic Energy Cells: Degradation Processes and Approaches to Enhance Performance

21
tables/names.org
View file

@ -3,6 +3,27 @@
#+EMAIL: howard.abrams@gmail.com
#+DATE: 2019-10-24 October
- Frea Forceshort
- Wenmit Forcebreaker
- Betroy Stormelven
- Markkev Axsteel
- Phieleofu Landermoon
- Lauforth Flaremoon
- Dra Earfalcon
- Sonan Breezearrow
- Bethrah Darkiron
- Timegel Yellow
- Fastda Goatwyrm
- Venmond Raintongue
- Timisum Quiver
- Werdguth Brightear
- Fredgar Goldeye
- Dratergar Elfhunter
- Loches Axseabattle
- Jo Capegazer
- Barda Hound
- Nethdino Rambright
- Maronne Harpsorcerer
- Casimir Bullcry
- Achaios Crowwhisper

100
tables/road-travelers.org Normal file
View file

@ -0,0 +1,100 @@
- You come across an older gentleman traveling down the path with a group of 6 small dogs walking behind him. He has them each on a small leash that is attached to his large backpack, filled with dog clothes and toys. Over the last few years, this man has trained these dogs to preform tricks. He is traveling from town to town to try and become a famous performer.
- You pass a person draped in flowing red and gold cloth, eyes closed and performing what looks like an incredibly slow dance. Around them are several unconscious bandits.
- You see an old woman with a young girl that is slowly moving towards your group. When you come closer you notice that the woman is actually blind and the girl is guiding her. That woman gets intense when you come closer and gives away a series of phrases, each of those can be treated as a prophesy.
- A pair of newlyweds on their honeymoon headed to a secluded cabin in the woods. They’re both charming and friendly, but the longer you talk to them, the clearer it is that something’s amiss. Specifically, it’s very clear that the groom has quite a lot to gain in the event of the bride’s untimely demise.
- You kick a rock, and it appears to grow legs and claws. On close inspection, it is a fist-sized crab disguised as a stone. All rocks in the immediate area reveal themselves to be crabs as well, which begin scattering into the grass. If one is captured, it disappears during the next long rest.
- A dog leashed to a tree. There doesn’t seem to be anyone else around, but if the party takes the pup its owner will try to find it.
- A short woman peddling used magical talismans out of a cart. Her assistant, a large deaf giant who is pulling said cart, grins whenever someone comes near. Her name is Tabitha and she’s rather charming in a softspoken way. A bit of prodding into the pair reveals they are both friends who once adventured together.
- A man in tattered robes who claims to be nobility who was forced from his home by a wicked sibling. More likely he was kicked out for being a greedy twit, but the party can learn that on their own time as he makes more and more requests.
- Two kobolds standing on top of each other wearing a old cloak. They claim they are a famous dragonborn warrior, and they do not seem to know that they are actually two kobolds.
- A pair of horses, seemingly abandoned. A further inspection reveals they are still wearing riding tack, and seemed to be abandoned in a hurry.
- A person digging a grave, with a body of some sort in a shroud nearby.
- A lizard folk wearing a paladins armor. He poorly impersonates the paladin whose armor he has and pretends to be lawful good. Or maybe he’s had a change of heart after getting the gear. Either way, he’s hungry.
- A shepherd with a dozen sheep. He keeps insisting that all the sheep are his and keeps looking over his shoulder.
- A 10-man road crew removing a stump from the middle of the road. Four of the crew are armed with bows and complain about a dryad interfering with their job. Two are doing the actual work of removing the stump. The rest are “supervising”.
- A flash flood has blocked part of the road. A sorcerer is standing nearby offering to clear a dry path for a small fee. The sorcerer is true to their word and forms a dry channel to the other side. After crossing, the channel, the flood and the sorcerer disappear.
- A pure black, unnaturally tall Tabaxi. She offers a magical item of the DMs choice in exchange for an interesting story. A player must offer a story that reveals a portion of their backstory, and beat a DC 14 persuasion check to receive the item. Each player may attempt this once, but each time it is failed the Tabaxi’s interest wanes, increasing the DC by 2. If the Tabaxi’s DC reaches 20, she retracts, unimpressed, and leaves.
- A small and poor family, all their belongings in tow, moving to a new town.
- A Firenewt wizard who sells magic minerals, crystals and dusts. He lives in a hut with a large fire in the middle. He spends most of his days at home making powders and crafting near the fire. Although he is not the kindest he is smart strong and helpful. He sells magical and non magical jewelry, fireworks, components and ingredients for spells and and recipes.
- A lonely Bullywug who got lost and lives in a cave. He considers himself the emperor of the cave. He have other frogs and toads as minions and guards.
- You see two figures riding on horseback: a halfling and a green dragonborn. They trot along for about a mile until they come across a heavily-guarded ornate caravan on the side of the road. As it turns out, the dragonborn is a senator, on his way back from a trip to the outer villages. They stopped to feed and water the horses, and the dragonborn accidentally dropped his keys in the caravan. The halfling is the locksmith from the next town over.
- A stray dog, hungry and dirty, desperately needing help. It has a collar with a note attached to it which seems to be a cry for help!
- A Rival party of the exact same class but different archetypes. They are a little obnoxious to their counterparts, and are out to do the same quest/mission/thing the party is up to.
- A black knight traveling on horseback. Could be revealed to be some sort of illusion, or a wandering boss-type monster.
- A hungry beggar, who if helped will come to their aid at a later date, if shunned will do the opposite.
- A crazy old man who claims to know where a secret forest full of magic is located. You follow him but he is actually just trying to take you back to his home because he has lonely ever since his wife died.
- Two older males each riding a giant snail. They sell common magic items, maps of nearby cave systems, and may teach the party how to enhance potions.
- A man with piercing blue eyes, all visible flesh but his eyes wrapped in cloth bandages. Adorned in worn abd dirty cloths of a nobleman and carrying a religious text. He is polite and intense obviously religious and with a deep silky voice. Upon closer inspection, his flesh appears burned. Omens of doom and death follow in his wake.
- A group of guardsmen transporting the corpse of their beloved countess back to her homeland. Upon conversation, the guardsmen believe foul play was involved and ask the adventurers to investigate.
- Harrin, the halfling Chef and his employees, all halflings. They travel in search of the Gloomy Mushroom, said to be the most delicious thing there is. A big and gentle half-orc is their bodyguard. His nickname is Joy.
- A blind man stumbling along the road with a stick. If the party stop to talk to he will talk about how he was the best bandit in the area in his youth. Problem is he never quit when he lost his sight. His buddies are hiding in the wilderness on the side of the road and have been lining up shots on the party with their slingshots and shortbows.
- A band of travelling bards called Heart of a Dragon on a middle of their ‘biggest tour ever’ where they are playing in multiple cities of the world. They could be a recurring encounter on different roads.
- A group of monks on a pilgrimage to a shrine of their order to meditate and receive training.
- A travelling circus with a bunch of performers, one of whom is offering to perform their tricks (tarot readings or a future event cryptic reveal) at the side of the road for a couple of coin.
- A zealot on a religious pilgrimage to a far off holy site. The pilgrim has only just started and is full of spunk and cheerful evangelism. This is the pilgrim’s first pilgrimage and up until now has led a very sheltered life.
- The wizard Leander from Leander’s Luminous Laundrette and Lavender Lavatory. They have been assaulted on thier travels, both the wizard and thier apprentice were injured (the apprentices wounds poisoned and almost surely infected, gangrenous, and without the help of a cleric; probably fatal.) and thier wagon and gear stolen.
- A band of highwaymen posing as religious ascetics on a pilgrimage to a nearby temple. They plan to rob the holy site and kill everyone inside its walls.
- A farmer and family in tow, with three oxen, two sheep, five pigs, and seven geese following the heavily laden cart. A single rocking chair is perched precariously on top with a grandmother strapped into it.
- A travelling troupe of down on thier luck performers with a small problem that the players can solve. In thier troupe is a budding young master storyteller who is sure to be deeply interested in the players and thier stories. Help or Impress them here, and tales of the teams exploits precede them in the next big city.
- A dimwitted farmer who was sold a cat in a bag (and had been told it was a piglet). The farmer is despondent and has spent every penny they had in the hopes of changing thier fortune.
- A peddler with an old horse and half broken cart who has gotten stuck in a muddy rut. The peddler is actually a spy travelling under cover and the wagon was deliberately stuck to provide an excuse to make contact. Alternatively, the goods the peddler is carrying are obviously stolen from a local power or religious group and the players may or may not know about it happening, and the peddlar is willing to do a lot of things to not be caught.
- An incompetent adventurer that wont take no for answer and plans to head wherever the players are going. The adventurer is friendly, but seems to be trying too hard.
- A knight travelling with a very small, or nonexistant retinue. The knight has been forced to sell his prized warhorse for some reason, or have it knackered due to severe injury. Alternatively, the knight is actually a Paladin doing religious pennance and has vowed not to ride a horse or cart for the entirety of one month and one day.
- A pack of dirt-covered Dwarf miners approach from off the road, offering to trade very valuable gems for some ale and food (“not trail rations, real food!”). They have just struck upon a massive gem deposit and wish to celebrate. Hope you have some with you.
- A hunter approaches, asking for your aid. He is gaunt, obviously hungry. He says he has tracked an Owlbear to a nearby cave, and if you can help him kill it, it will feed his family for a month.
- You see a child’s corpse in the middle of the road. A young boy, no more than eight or nine. His throat has been cut. If you stop to examine the body, you quickly see a search party coming toward you from the wood. They are looking for the boy. And you should not be so close to him.
- You notice an elf slumped against a tree, covered in blood and on the verge of death. He reveals that he is a courier, and was ambushed by bandits. He tells you that they didn’t find the message he carries, it is hidden inside his boot. He asks you to deliver the message for him to a woman named Ella Corwyn in the village of Threader’s Hollow, a few days ride out of your way. If read, it is a simple message from her son, Dennis, who is training in wizardry with the elves. If delivered, Ella will feed your group (hearty lamb stew with delicious homemade biscuits) and offer shelter in her barn, alongside her prize pig Josephine.
- A bear wearing a vest and derby hat is selling expertly-crafted Masterwork musical instruments from an ox-drawn cart hitched to a tree by the side of the road. His name is Sir William Bearington III. He does not speak but can understand and scratch out misspelled replies on a chalkboard in Common. Should you attempt to steal from him, he will attack without hesitation, as a Dire Bear. A small collection of bards of various races have formed an impromptu jam session in a clearing nearby. They sound great, and if asked, they attribute the sound to the quality of the instruments. Anyone with a proficiency in a musical instrument and enough gold in their purse must succeed on a DC 10 Will save, or feel compelled to buy one. Prices are high (2x), but the craftsmanship appears to be worth it. A flamboyantly painted sign on the side of the cart in bold calligraphy reads: “Musickyl Innstrumynts of Fynest Make, Experrtly Crafftyd by Sir Wm. Bearington III, Proprytor”
- A trio of dirty peasants is riding past on an impossibly fancy carriage. They nervously smile and wave at your group. A DC 18 spot check will notice a smear of blood on the side of the carriage.
- You come upon a group of a dozen or so young human men. They carry spears and wear leather armor. They appear to be trying to get your attention. If attacked, they immediately flee. If spoken with, they claim to be soldiers and demand a tax. If refused, they brandish their spears and talk about the wrath of the King, but will flee at the first sign of violence. In reality, they are cowards and deserters, trying to make their way South.
- A man begs for help. He has been “robbed by bandits. Please, kind strangers, a ride into the village that’s just a day’s travel away?” At the earliest opportunity, he will attempt to steal something of value and ride away on your horse. If it seems like a good idea, he will stab you first.
- A very elderly couple flags you down. They ask you to leave some silver as a remembrance for their son, who was killed on this very spot twenty years ago.
- A Giant sits in the clearing, he is weeping. The sounds of his tears echo across the open space. His wife was recently killed by adventurers, and he will fly into a rage upon seeing your weapons. If you manage to calm him down, he introduces himself as Urgirr and will beg you to find justice for his wife by killing the Orc Barbarian “Karnak the Bold”, the Human Wizard “Aldo Blackhand”, the Dwarf Cleric “Tordok of the Mountain”, and the Gnome Rogue “Swindlow Duffington Dingle”.
- You come upon an impossibly elderly dwarf, naked as the day he was born, standing in the middle of the road demanding a 10 gp toll be paid. He wields a quarterstaff and proclaims himself to be the King of the Road. Thankfully, his long white beard shields his wrinkled nethers from your view.
- A longbowman challenges all takers to a hunting contest. A 100 gold bet. Whosoever can kill the most birds in one hour wins the purse.
- Morty Mennecaum, a traveling gnome alchemist has set up shop in this unlikely location. His prices are a bit above average, but he loves a joke and will negotiate if someone can make him laugh. His son, Manny, a burly fighter with a Longsword and steel shield, eyes you.
- A ghost hovers in your path. He is Gregor Jantos. He asks you to deliver a message to his wife Alya in a nearby town: “It was no accident. Kelvar cut me open to get to you. Don’t trust him.” When you find Alya, she has been married to Kelvar for nine years and they have a daughter together. They are quite the happy family. Gregor died twelve years ago, and he wasn’t well-liked in town. He had a reputation for getting drunk and beating on Alya.
- A twelve-year-old boy sits cross-legged atop a boulder that seems out of place near this stretch of road. He wears a circlet of rope around his head. If spoken to, he will open his eyes and acknowledge you and appear to pay attention, but he will not speak. He will answer yes or no questions with shakes of his head. He has taken a vow of silence and is on his way to becoming a Monk. If begged for assistance, he can show you to his monastery where you may sleep, eat, and train for up to a week.
- A townsman (Garg) is arguing with a traveling salesman (Phineas). He claims that he paid for 50 miracle cures, but the crate the salesman gave him only contained 46. The salesman claims that the customer must have drunk four of the doses of the cure because he “has a system”. The dispute is over 8 gold pieces.
- A traveling salesman blows past you on a cart. He is being chased by half a village who run after with axes and pitchforks. They claim he took advantage of them by selling them colored whiskey in a vial and saying it would cure Miner’s Fever. If you catch the salesman, he claims it’s honest work, selling people hope for an otherwise hopeless disease. He will give back 75% of the town’s money if you Intimidate him (DC 15). If you beat his Intimidate DC by 10 or more, he gives it all back.
- A patrol of royal guards is approaching. Six stout men, at least somewhat injured, guarding what seems to be an iron strongbox. They are traveling quickly. They say that they can tell right away that you are trustworthy folk, and they ask you to join them in transporting their incredibly valuable cargo to the King–which is several weeks travel out of your way–promising a small reward for the effort. Should you refuse, they again stress how incredibly valuable their cargo is, and explain that they are tired and weak from their journey, and vulnerable to bandits. If the strongbox is opened (by killing the guards and picking a difficult lock), it contains a letter from another kingdom–a peace treaty.
- A group of four small children, no more than eight or nine years old, proudly stops your group. They are adventuring heroes, and want to join your party. To kill nasty trolls, and slay horrible dragons, and stay up as late as they want.
- A crowd of townsfolk equipped with makeshift weapons and torches is marching towards a nearby city. They proclaim that they are going to do battle with a minor local lord because his taxes are too high. If there is a fight, they will certainly be slaughtered.
- A small group of three older women, dressed in homespun and dirty shawls. One woman has a swollen foot and walks with a limp. One has a swollen and infected lip and drools when she speaks. A third has a twisted and infected finger, rendering her unable to grasp anything. One wields a set of shears, one a sack of prepared flax fiber, and a third a distaff and spindle. They are fey in disguise with strange power, prophetic foresight, and strange ethics. Alternatively, they are witches/hags with questionable motives, but a moral code of “rewarding” those who show them respect they feel they deserve.
- An entymologist in absurd getup with a comedically large bug net, short shorts, pith helmet, socks and sandals. They ask for assistance catching something only they can see.
- You hear them before you see them. As you approach a bend in the road you hear two voices, each loudly complaining about the other. “You said you knew where we were going!” “I said that it was East, you’re the one who said a map was a waste of money!” A female Goliath sits on a fallen tree at the side of the road. A female Halfling is perched on her shoulders passing a wineskin to her companion.
- A seemingly normal looking man who greets the party on the road. He will mostly address the party member with the most magic jewelry. After some awkward conversation he will quickly make an attempt to steal the jewelry and run. When the party persues him he turns into an ancient copper dragon and flies off. They wont be able to track him. Later if the party is investigating crimes in a nearby city they might catch word of an illegal magic black market. The copper dragon is the kingpin of the operation and will give the items back when confronted.
- The sky darkens and it begins to rain heavily. You see a man coming the other way, carrying a heavy umbrella and wearing a heavy coat. It rains for as long as the man is in sight, and then immediately clears.
- Seven dwarven miners bid you good day as they go to work in their mine.
- A cartographer passes who is willing to sell a copy of his map of the area for 40gp. With this map the party can travel at an additional 1d4 miles per day of travel within the area of the map.
- You find a wandering disciple of Gond (or any other similar god of crafting) who offers to repair any broken or damaged equipment.
- A wounded young knight laying down on the side of the road. His quest to save the princess from the dragon had failed, again. He went with a few adventerurs and mercenaries but he was the only survivor left.
- A fortune teller sits on the side of the road in a cart that she seems to operate her business out of. There’s a sign on it that explains that a simple fortune is 1 silver but a more intricate fortune is 1 gold. (If asked to prove her talent, she performs a simple druidcraft cantrip showing tomorrow’s weather and tells them to come back tomorrow to see her if she’s correct. This may be a good place for an insight check). If any party member gets a fortune told, the DM can choose the fortune or she can foretell imminent death in their path.
- A gnome is undeneath a curious wagon, fiddling with a mechanical apparatus and swearing up a storm. He refuses help and insists you would just get in his way.
- Three high-elven sages can be seen bickering among themselves, arguing over the interpretations of a certain book on Arcana. The party is completely invisible to them if the sages are not addressed/greeted.
- A man with bandages over his eyes, a boot slightly larger than its mate, and a sort of mechanical prosthetic hand being led a pseudonatural hound. When questioned about the clearly unnatural dog, he just says “I trust him. He led me back out of there”.
- A chef with a small restaurant/tavern set up on a rarely traveled roadside wondering why he never gets any customers.
- A tattered old man sitting by the roadside will ask for change to help feed his dog. If you spend enough time with them, the dog reveals itself to be a druid and the pair attempt to rob you.
- An elf and a dwarf on a cart pulled by a couple of oxen. Both wear expensive, gaudy clothes. The dwarf is puffing on a clay pipe and has an ornate repeating crossbow on his lap. They offer the party a chance to buy their wares and show them the collection of arms and armour in the cart; all used, some very obviously, with dented armour, nicked blades and blood stains. There are a few good pieces and at a good price. If there are any magical items, the vendors are unaware of this and sell them as standard. These characters make good money from looting battlefields, most of this haul from a recent clash between two nobles’ armies. At your discretion the elf may have a wand or two up his sleeve in event of trouble.
- A woman and six small children approach in an ox-drawn wagon. They appear dirty, tired and apprehensive, but if the party is friendly the mother will share her story: the father has run out on his family, and they could no longer afford to live in their previous home. The mother offers the party a single gold coin if they would accompany them to the next village. Rumor has it there are wolves in the area, and they are scared they won’t make it to town before nightfall.
- A traveling minstrel and his lover approach on a donkey. He offers to play you a tune for a coin. He is the worst singer you have ever heard. He takes your coin and carries on down the road.
- A large magic stone hut. The hut is immune to all magic as well as edged weapons. Inside is the home of a helpful powerful Wizard with many magic items and potions. He has made a shop which he sells him magic for slightly lower prices that the Handbook’s. He will buy any rare magic for 110% of its actual cost. He buys magic at 90% of its actual cost. Lots of people seem to come buy in the day and no one seems to be there at night. This is because he talks in his sleep. On any given day, there is a 1/3 chance that he will use d4 spells in his sleep.
- Two famous swordsmen, having a duel. One may or may not have cheated in the past, and may or may not be planning to cheat in the future. Thier followers are attempting to either stop the fight, and seeking help or are discussing terms and seeking a neutral arbitrator.
- A single, lonely shoe with a busted heel. The shoe is animated, and has a personality, always complaining that “My dogs are tired!”. It may or may not be a wizard pulling a trick on you via enchantment.
- A traveling artist has set up a canvas in a nearby field and is painting some wildflowers. For 5 copper pieces, he will make a charcoal drawing on paper for you or any of your party members. For 5 gold pieces, he will stop his flower painting and spend time following the party painting a portrait of one of you until he is finished. If prompted about his work, he will get excited and show you his sketchbook. It’s full of various drawings and portraits of people he’s passed on the road. He says he never forgets a face and will even draw someone according to details given by you for 10 copper pieces. He’s surprisingly accurate even if you aren’t the best at describing things.
- A portly drunken satyr mostly preoccupied with finding out where the next party is.
- A pompous fool of an elf who has spent over 400 years mastering the call of a species of wolf which has since gone extinct in the area. Will demonstrate the howl with almost no provocation and expects you to be impressed.
- A portly old goliath in a red coat with white trim dragging a big bag full of presents
- Horned devil with a box in his hands. Offers to allow you to take a look inside in exchange for your soul.
- A grizzled paladin with a greatsword and a floating shield in a desperate fight with two invisible stalkers.
- Firbolg sleeping, held in the trunk of his pet elephant who dutifully trundles down the road, stepping politely aside to allow for traffic.
- Three hill giants who have been assigned to sack a nearby civilization. They’re lost and want directions from the party.
- A hermit, proudly extending his arms towards bypassers, holding a single old sock with a hole on the heel. Loudly exclaiming “Look at my sock! Isn’t it wonderful?! This sock has been in my family for generations and never once been wet! It’s not magical nor special, but it is, simply put, the best sock ever made!”
- A glum-looking demon lord pulling a wheelbarrow in which is lying a very drunk, very happy dwarf loudly singing “86 bottles of beer on the wall!” If interrupted, the cleric burps loudly, frowns and then shrugs, starting again at “1 billion beetles of butt in the well” before giggling and falling asleep. At this the demon lord sits down and begins weeping.
- An old man and his four mute sons, all dressed in rags, one carrying a large walking stick. In truth, the old man is the head of a giant mage, and his “sons” are his limbs, polymorphed into a group of humans. The old man will ask for a share of the party’s rations, and his sons will eat and eat until no food is left.
- An oddly smelling gnome with various magic items hidden under his cloak such as a small pocket watch that turns you invisible for six seconds, a hand with candles on it’s fingertips that when lit paralyze every creature with 14 or more charisma in a 100ft radius, and a blank booklet that does nothing but looks extremely important to all creatures who see it.
- Angmar Bladewalker – human knight – Brown hair and blue eyes, she proudly wears a scar across one side of her face. She is always a bit late, a bit eccentric, and has an otuyagh in the stables that she raises as a pet. Deft with a blade though. She moved out of her house because it was haunted.
- Zane Drake – High Elf poet – He has very long, curled, brown hair shaved on the left side and brown eyes, with rough golden skin. He has a soft, typical face with a short moustache. He speaks loudly and dramatically at all times. In addition, he knows the true name of an angel.
- Ayleth Falavaul – Half-Elf merchant – She has long, curled, dyed black hair and green eyes. She speaks quietly at all times and is deeply religious. Her homeland was destroyed by a storm.
- Doran thunderdelver – Dwarf noble – Endlessly impatient, Doran is always shouting about something or other. He has short blond hair and a long beard, which his wife braids every morning. A old friend wants revenge on him.
- Porath – Dragonborn wizard – Suspicious and prone to growling, he cares deeply about the local townsfolk. A man named Kavarr stole one of his spellbooks.

64
tables/warehouse-boxes.org Normal file
View file

@ -0,0 +1,64 @@
# The goal here is to have standard stuff that would be in a box.
containing 1d4 baskets of carrots
foreign spices (worth 1d10 gold)
exotic spices (worth 1d100 gold)
1d6 swords
1d4 suits of [leather/chain/city guard] armor
1d8 bolts of satin
blacksmithing tools (worth 1d8 gp)
Full of sandals, that appear to be last summer's craze
Amateur artist's paintings (1d4, worth 1d10 silver each)
Old mounted wolf head
1d8 cartons of eggs
1d4 jars of pickles
1d10 maps of [local area/unknown islands/foreign city]
3d20 steel ingots
4d20 iron ingots
4d20 silver ingots (each worth 10 gold)
1d20 gold ingots (each worth 100 gold)
raw iron ore (worth 1d12 gold)
mining supplies
1d20 jars of marbles
fishing gear
painting supplies
1d8 bolts of cotton cloth
alchemy tools (worth 1d4 gold)
1d4 paintings (worth 1d12 silver each)
1d4 cooking pots
Large decorative egg (silver with sapphires)
Large decorative egg (gold with rubies)
dried meat
1d8 bolts of velvet
goldsmith tools (worth 4d6 gold)
1d4 baskets of apples
Small pouch of 2d6 diamonds
mushrooms (edible)
mushrooms (drugs, roll on 'mushrooms' table)
2d24 goat horns
1d8 bolts of silk
1d6 crates of wool blankets
1d8 master painter's paintings (worth 1d20 gold)
coal (worth about 1d4 gold)
Small jewelry chest (empty)
1d10 pouches of vegetable seeds
parchment
2d6 furs
2d12 tanned hides
1d20 jars of pickled frog legs
1d20 bolts of velvet
1d8 expensive ball gowns
1d4 leather boots
1d4 health potions
doctor/healing supplies (worth 1d4 gold)
1d20 woven baskets
1d8 panes of glass
1d6 baskets of apples
1d10 unfinished pieces of ivory
seashells
1d4 farming tools
1d6 anchors
1d20 pieces of split firewood
Small chest of assorted jewelry (worth 1d100 gold)
1d4 baskets of alchemical reagents

35
tables/warehouse-items.org Normal file
View file

@ -0,0 +1,35 @@
# The idea here is to have items that probably aren't in a box or crate.
| Crate (search on warehouse-boxes) | common |
| Crate with foreign writing (search on warehouse-boxes) | common |
| Wooden box (search on warehouse-boxes) | common |
| Crate (seems empty) | common |
| 1d4 kegs of mead | uncommon |
| 1d10 kegs of ale | uncommon |
| 1d12 casks of wine | uncommon |
| 1d8 casks of wine | uncommon |
| 1d8 empty cages | uncommon |
| Broken cage | rare |
| 1d4 empty crates | rare |
| Caged [wolf/foxes/badger] | very-rare |
| Caged Owlbear | legendary |
| 1d10 wooden bar [stools/chairs] | uncommon |
| Stuffed Owlbear | rare |
| 1d6 cauldrons | uncommon |
| Unused coffin | rare |
| Coffin (in use) | legendary |
| Ornate chest (locked) | rare |
| Old mounted [wolf/deer/cockatrice] head | rare |
| 2d20 Timber beams (30, oak, 6”x6”x20’) | uncommon |
| Extravagant bed frame | rare |
| Rusted chest (locked) | rare |
| Dead body (crushed by fallen crates) | legendary |
| Caged geese (1d8) | uncommon |
| 3d20 Logs (20, cedar, 1’x10’) | rare |
| Old throne | legendary |
| Wagon of soil | legendary |
| Granite slab | legendary |
| Large stone statue (ancient ruler) | legendary |
| Wooden bust (sea god) | legendary |
| Custom sign (“The Lazy Sow Inn” or roll on 'Taverns') | legendary |
| Extravagant chair | rare |