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324 lines
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<p>Raw link: <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwT5PoXrLVs">https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwT5PoXrLVs</a></p>
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<p>In this video blog I talk about my background with computers. This
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experience helped me learn five important lessons that apply to life in
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general and free software in particular, especially GNU Emacs.</p>
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<p>Below you can find the text of the presentation in <code>org-mode</code> notation
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(this is plain text, in case you do not know). I just noticed a few
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typos and an error in the “forgo […] a loss” statements, but I hope
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you get what I wanted to say (“to accept a loss…”).</p>
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<hr />
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<pre><code>#+TITLE: Vlog: Moral lessons from switching to Emacs
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#+AUTHOR: Protesilaos Stavrou (https://protesilaos.com/)
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In this video blog I want to share with you a topic that comes up from
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time to time in my private email exchanges. And that is my background
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in computers and, basically, how I became an Emacs user.
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I want to share with you my story, though I also wish to draw some
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lessons from it and generalise them into insights that might be useful
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for other people.
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I think that as with life in general, our experience with computers goes
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through various phases in which we become better at adapting to or
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coping with evolving states of affairs, once we gain some familiarity
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with the case-specific surroundings or parameters.
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Each person is different and there is no one way of learning things. I
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feel though that hearing another person's experiences can broaden our
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horizon, the same way we can read a book and get the essence of its
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author's years of labour to accumulate the requisite knowledge.
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* The first lesson from the early years of adulthood
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I did not have a computer growing up. I first started using one in the
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university where I had to submit all my assignments in doc or pdf format
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(circa 2006). At the time I would visit the university's computer lab
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to type in my work which I had prepared a manuscript for.
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Even my typing skills back then were rudimentary and extremely clumsy.
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I was using the index finger on both of my hands to hit the keys and had
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to always look down to make sure I was typing the right thing.
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This was true for all my years at the university, where I was enrolled
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in the humanities. I did, nonetheless, set up a blog in 2011 which
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later evolved into my current website, though I had no technical
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understanding of things back then: I just had essays which I thought
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were worth publishing.
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Then I got a job at the European Parliament and moved to Brussels,
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Belgium (2012). There I would have to use the computer at the office
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every single day for most of my tasks. I would have to write analyses,
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edit or prepare amendments to legislation, deal with emails... You get
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the idea.
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At some point I was working on a colleague's laptop because I did not
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have one myself. The task involved switching between two apps to copy
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and paste text back and forth. By "copy and paste", I mean to right
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click, find the "copy" action, then move the mouse and right click again
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for "paste". It was a tedious process and I was still not competent as
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a computer user. So the colleague asked me why I was not using Alt+Tab.
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My reaction was to ask what kind of app that is and how to enable it...
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That day I learnt how to use a keyboard shortcut. It was a revelation!
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Soon thereafter I followed it up with Ctrl+c, Ctrl+v, Ctrl+z, Ctrl+a.
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The first lesson from this experience is that when you have no access to
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learning resources, when you are not exposed to a superior paradigm, you
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are always trapped in a cycle of self deprecation and perceived
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powerlessness. Humans are good at rationalising their own condition, so
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we can come up with plausible explanations such as that "my dexterity is
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not good enough", or "it actually helps me write better, as it is more
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deliberate", and the like.
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Knowledge or a means of learning is key to emancipate yourself from your
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own inadequacies. Never make excuses that hinder your potential to
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learn something new. Always keep an open mind.
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* The second lesson before the transition to free software
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I was eventually granted a laptop at my work. It was a Macbook Pro of
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some sort, though I still have no idea what its model was. It did not
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matter. What I cared about was that it was the first time in my life
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where I had my own computer---I could use it from home and start
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learning more about it in my free time!
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So I started personalising my computer experience over time. This meant
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that I would buy various apps that were supposed to help me with
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boosting my productivity. That is when the next set of post-hoc
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rationalisations started developing. I was deluding myself into
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thinking that "oh, my efficiency was not good enough, but thankfully
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this app has fixed the problem". It did not. It could not.
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And this is something that relates to Emacs as well. There is no
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magical way to boost your productivity by changing the software you use,
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while keeping your mindset constant. To become productive you have to
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identify the patterns in your method or workflow that hamper your
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output. Apps are tools that you use. And, despite its extensibility,
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Emacs can neither read your mind, nor reprogram it. It all starts with
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your mentality and with how you conduct yourself.
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I had thus wasted a fair bit of money on shiny apps that claimed to fix
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my perceived problems. I would speculate, in retrospect, that the
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absence of tools for self learning that is prevalent in the proprietary
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app ecosystem conditions users, perhaps inadvertently, into not
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questioning things and conforming with the status quo.
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We are all different and this means that what works for one may not
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apply to another. Thus, a user who is not offered genuine alternatives,
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a method that helps them decide for themselves, is eventually led to
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rationalise their condition as a fault of their own. This happened to
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me. I bought apps for productivity but did not really change anything
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in my life. Instead I thought that the real reason for not being
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productive was with my awkwardness as a computer user, or something
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along those lines.
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The second lesson I learnt the hard way is that you must always assess
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someone on their own merits. Do not judge people for trying and failing
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to meet some other person's standards. And, extended to computers, do
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not fall into the trap of T.I.N.A., which is an acronym for "There Is No
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Alternative". There always are alternatives---always---provided you
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change your mindset and stop internalising your induced victimhood as
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some supposedly intrinsic quality of yours. It is not your fault.
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* The third lesson after switching to GNU/Linux
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I still had that Macbook laptop in 2016 when I finally decided to switch
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to free software. I had read a bit about Linux and how it was
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Unix-like, though I did not understand what that meant. It was too far
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removed from my knowledge at the time. Instead, what helped me get
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started was the GNU Image Manipulation Program; a good tool, which goes
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by an unfortunate acronym. Alas!
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Anyhow, I installed the GNU IMP on my laptop because I wanted to do some
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basic image editing and was not willing to spend money on yet another
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shiny app from the store. The program was good enough for my needs, so
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I thought I would check their website in case they were making some
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other programs as well. At the time I was still thinking that "free
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software" meant free of charge. But I soon learnt about the moral
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qualities of free software, about liberty and being in control of your
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own computer, which means to be in control of a large part of your life.
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So I decided to nuke the Mac and replace it with Linux Mint. This
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happened in the summer of 2016. After a weeks, I decided to distro hop
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and went with Arch Linux. I still had no idea what I was doing. I just
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read the wiki and it somehow worked!
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Moving to free software changed my life for the better because it put me
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in a course of escaping from /heteronomy/: rule by another. I wanted
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/autonomy/: rule by one self. My time buying apps for the Mac was one of
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heteronomy not only because I did not control the software, but mostly
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due to the mentality that is associated with using tools that you do not
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understand: you are always dependent on someone else, you are trapped in
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that cycle of powerlessness and victimhood that I alluded to earlier.
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The third lesson is that autonomy comes at a cost. It presupposes
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responsibility, and that is predicated on discipline. If you do not
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want to be responsible, if you prefer to be spoon-fed what life has to
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offer, then you remain in a state of heteronomy with its fake comforts.
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This is not about the Mac per se. It is about understanding your
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system.
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Here I must stress that discipline is not the same as conformity with
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the established order. No! Discipline is a virtue. It is about
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overcoming your pernicious rationalisations; those that keep you trapped
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in a state of perceived helplessness. It is about deciding to be in
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charge of yourself and being prepared to deal with the challenges from a
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position of control. Discipline is about adding structure to a
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theretofore chaotic life.
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Never mistake conformism or obedience with virtue.
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* The fourth lesson that brought me to GNU Emacs
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I had not fully understood the third lesson of autonomy even after I had
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switched to GNU/Linux because I retained one very bad habit from the old
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days: I was not reading the wealth of documentation on offer. Instead I
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would search the Web for some quick and easy fix, copy-paste it, and
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move on to the next task.
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This mentality held back my potential. I was still behaving
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heteronomously and I was still rationalising it as "oh, this is too
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difficult for me---I was just a student of liberal arts!". That is
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nonsense. It is a mindset that sets you up for failure.
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What made me change habits was the realisation that there is no "cheat
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code" or "secret life hack" to gaining expertise in any given field.
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You have to earn it. And this means you have to put some serious effort
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into it.
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I understand how people feel for finding themselves in such a
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predicament. I was just like that until not too long ago. Just look
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around you: the zeitgeist, the general spirit of our times, is to do
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things quickly. The most common example is some formulaic video
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tutorial that promises to make you a pro in five minutes: "here are 10
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tricks to be happy!".
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We can discern the same pattern in the Emacs space. You must have
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noticed this type of post where someone claims to want to switch to
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Emacs but they do not wish to lose any of their productivity. That only
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shows that they do not understand what they want. They have been led to
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believe in this narrative of the quick fix, the secret life hack, the
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one magic thing that provides a shortcut to wisdom, and so on. There is
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none of that. It is all a lie. You are chasing chimeras. As for Emacs
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in particular, you simply cannot be an Emacs tourist---it does not work
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that way.
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To learn your way with free software, and to gain expertise in general,
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you must commit to it with an open mind. This means that you must have
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already prepared yourself mentally, which implies that you are willing
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to forgo some short-term loss in productivity in pursuit of a longer
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term transition to a more autonomous modus vivendi.
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So the fourth lesson I learnt is to be modest, patient, persistent, and
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courageous. In the free software space this set of virtues boils down
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to a simple yet critical instruction: *read the documentation* and be
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methodical about it. Don't entertain unrealistic expectations of doing
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it in 5 minutes. Take your time. Read, read, read! And proceed slowly
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from the basics to the more advanced issues.
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* The fifth lesson after switching to GNU Emacs
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I became an Emacs user in the summer of 2019 while I had bought my first
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computer in 2018, which is the Thinkpad X220 that I am now using. I
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started from scratch, read the manual, and gradually worked my way to
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where I currently am. I am not a programmer, though that is not an
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excuse: it is just a matter of fact as well as a statement of intent to
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continue to improve. But I do not want to talk to you about my
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Emacs-related projects. Those are chronicled in all the videos I have
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published, as well as the relevant information I post on my website.
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Instead, I want to focus on a general theme which I think hints again at
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heteronomy: which is the self-description of the geek or the nerd. Now
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I understand that those terms are given a positive spin, though I am
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still not happy with them. My problem with them comes from the
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dichotomy they assume where on the one side you have "normies" and on
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the other you get the geeks/nerds. My experience as a computer user
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tells me that there is no such binary there is a spectrum of possible
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combinations and permutations in between the extremes. Plus, I am not
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convinced that "normal" means what we want.
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"Normal" signifies the norm, the common pattern. Though it can also
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hint at normativity in the form of an exhortation: this is how people
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should behave. I object to such false morality because in the computer
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it translates into "people should remain trapped in arrangements they do
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not control and in which they are utterly powerless to enact reform". I
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transcended those fake constraints and I believe that everyone can do
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the same if only we show them the way.
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Furthermore, I object to the characterisation of the free software
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expert as some sort of a weirdo, even if you put a positive spin to it.
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Remember that we are talking about liberty, about autonomy and a life
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that is characterised by an ethos of discipline. This is not weird: it
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is about realising your potential. It is about tearing apart that
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cobweb of induced helplessness and rationalisations that keeps you
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subservient to forces outside your control as an individual and as a
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member of a wider community.
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There is a song of an old Greek rock band which says: "what are we even
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doing here in the others' night?" (Τρύπες: Τι γυρεύουμε εμείς μέσα στη
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νύχτα των άλλων). Which I think is a great metaphor for this fifth
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lesson: do not live under some other person's shadow, do not use their
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language or their associations to make sense of the world because that
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forces you to vindicate the categories they assume as constant.
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No, I am not a nerd. I am an Emacs user as a consequence of the fact
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that I want more autonomy. I am unapologetic about it and fully
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prepared to deal with the consequences.
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* Emacs is just another tool
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In conclusion, I must say that the main takeaway from this video blog is
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that you need to check your mentality and you need to get into the
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mindset of doing things that give you more control. This involves
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learning by reading, as well as through trial and error.
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Couched in those terms, Emacs will not solve the problems in your life.
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It will not become your powerhouse of productivity after one weekend's
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worth of effort. You are willing to commit to it for the long term
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because you are driven by the spirit of liberty, of controlling your own
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setup and being very deliberate about how the whole system is pieced
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together.
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Now I can almost hear your rationalisations speaking: "but it is hard",
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"oh, but I am a dummy" and stuff like that. You need to stop heeding
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those calls. They are not your friends. If you set yourself up for
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failure, you will always think that you are inadequate, that something
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is wrong with you. And your mind will play along, whispering to you
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that you are all those things and that you deserve to remain in that
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inert state.
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What my journey as a computer user taught me, and what Emacs rendered
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crystal clear, is that you will always think that you are an idiot for
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as long as you remain heteronomous. Things will begin changing once you
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start making steps towards autonomy. In my case that took a few years.
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It is a gradual process which, I think, has made me a competent computer
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user as well as a better person.
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To recapitulate:
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1. Without knowledge you are trapped in a cycle of self deprecation and
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perceived powerlessness. Seek knowledge.
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2. You must always assess someone on their own merits, instead of some
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other person's standards. Do not fall into the trap of TINA (There
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Is No Alternative), because there always is an alternative.
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3. Autonomy comes at cost. You must be prepared to forgo some
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short-term comfort in order to prepare yourself for gaining control.
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This presupposes discipline (and discipline is not conformism!).
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4. Be modest, patient, persistent, and courageous. In practical terms,
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understand that there is no shortcut to gaining expertise. For
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software, this means that you must always read the documentation.
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5. Do not live under another person's shadow ("in the night of the
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others"); do not play along with their role games; do not vindicate
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their narratives and provide assent to their presumptions.
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With those in mind you will be prepared to use free software in general
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and GNU Emacs in particular. You will upgrade yourself.
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</code></pre>
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